003 “Clinton vs Sanders, Incarcerating Climate Skeptics and Police Shooting Stats in Chicago” - The Fifth Column

The waning hours of President Obama's tenure, on the eve of Trump-Mageddon, and the hits just keep on coming.

The President-Elect finds himself embroiled in a nasty fight with an almost universally revered CIVIL RIGHTS ICON -- who in this particular showdown may just be playing the part of a cuddly Alex Jones.

And of course, since 'two beefs are always better than one,' Trump is simultaneously mixing it up with CNN too. Is this a prelude to a broader Trumpian assault on the free press!? Maybe? Did you see hopefully?

Plus: Thad Russell makes his pick for the next President of the United States (sort of). Manning gets freed. Matt asks questions about drones and of course other important things happen.

Moynihan is someplace in DC covering the inauguration (or is he ducking Thad)? No problem, we'll just put words in his mouth and strawman the hell out of him.

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After a day of confirmation hearings and protesters in pink t-shirts, amid growing uncertainty about the future of Obama Care, and just ahead of President Obama's Farewell Address in Chicago; a dossier filled with potentially explosive and definitively explicit allegations about the incoming President-Elect explodes onto the scene. Is it accurate? Where did it come from? Has Trump been compromised? Wait -- did someone say 'golden shower'? WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT UP -- WE'RE STILL TRYING TO READ THE DAMN THING!

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Welch has been eying the guitar in the corner all night, some thoughtful listeners sent the fellas a huge bottle of Johnny Walker Black, and appears they've been reading newly released intelligence briefs for the last hour. If you were in the room, you'd probably be a little drunk too. It's the first fifth of 2017...

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In the final dispatch of 2016, THE COLUMNISTS examine the recent terror attacks in Berlin -- parsing predictable responses, likely fallout, and beyond.

And as the Obama Presidency draws to a close, an increasingly 'complicated' (if not entirely frosty... but perhaps 'cold-ish') relationship with Vladimir Putin (or is it 'some 400lb guy sitting around in his mom's basement') are hogging the spotlight and throwin' shade on POTUS's legacy.

And about this legacy business... they kick that around too. Good, bad, above average... Welch, Moynihan and Foster discuss. See you in 2017.

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Definitive accusations from the US intelligence community. Promises of reprisals from President Obama. A last ditch effort to sway Electoral College voters and prevent Donald Trump from moving into the White House.

SPOILER ALERT: You’ll hear exactly zero mentions of Archduke Ferdinand in this dispatch (and perhaps that’s for the best).

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In the final days of the Obama administration, many ‘journalos’ (pronounced: jurn-ah-lows) are producing fond remembrances of the outgoing administration while closely scrutinizing every (frequently confusing) move and utterance from the incoming administration. What are they getting right? And what are they getting wrong? Plus: perspectives on the new-McCarthyism. Why you should be super scared of Russia and Trump's pick for Secretary of State (or Naw). And some guy named Coates REALLY want’s you to know that President Obama was black & cool; and that the two of them got to hang out a bunch of times (Kmele is super unfair to him).

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If a white nationalists speaks to a meager audience on a Texas campus, can any American avoid hearing about it? When Tomi tangles with Trevor on The Daily Show, does anyone really win? The answer to both of these questions could be a resounding 'no'. But not to worry, Hillary Clinton is back and she's imploring lawmakers to help plebs... (sorry), stupid voters... (sorry), idiots like you -- differentiate between fake news and approved... (sorry), factual news outlets. If you can't imagine any problems arising from such a well thought out recommendation, then this podcast is for you (and it's also '...for all my people in the struggle. It's all good baby, baby')

Comedian Jimmy Failla and journalist Jacob Siegel swing by for this gargantuan free for all. Did we mention that Jimmy has a new comedy special on Amazon? He'd like you to go watch it.

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“Fidel Castro dead, y’all!” Revolutionary, Dictator, Monster and... Human Rights Champion!? No seriously, some idiot wrote that, and worse besides. The Columnists offer an unvarnished appraisal of the newly muerto totalitarian. Glenn Garvin of the Miami Herald is on hand to help make sense of Castro’s legacy and his surprisingly numerous apologists. It’s more than a little disrespectful — but he deserves so much worse.

But Wait, there’s more: Jill Stein raises tons of money, Donald Trump tweets something, there’s a recount, accusations of massive voter fraud and if you set that flag on fire 'somebody gonna go to jail'. @wethefifth

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A Hamilltonian dressing down for the Vice President Elect? A White Nationalist Confrence in the Nations Capital? Sure -- it's almost Thanksgiving, but before digging into the Turkey, stuffing and cranbary sause -- we managed to sneak in one more dispatch. And 'they' said it couldn't be done...

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What do you do after a media apperance in Midtown Manhattan. If you answered, 'Eat Ground Beef with Friends' -- you've probably been drinking with Kat Timpf and Matt Welch.

Trump Ditches the Press Pool to Grab a Steak To Dinner.

Steve Bannon (White House “Chief Strategist”, Xenophon, Anti-Semite, Spousal Abuser, Racist, All of the Above)

Lebron James vs Phil Jackson ('Did you just call us a 'posse'!?')

And The Latest Installment Of The Most Important Story of this Election… “How racist is donald trump”? Super, Regular, or Naw”

Come for the South Park recaps, stay for the celebirty impressions.

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The election is finally over, and Donald Trump is President Elect of the United States... 'What the hell happend!?' This weighty audio dispatch may help sort out a few things. Moyhinan, Welch and Foster are reunited. Andrew Schulz of the Brilliant Idiots podcast makes a return appearance.

You're going to be fine... Really. everythings gonna be OK. We think...

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This week, Hollywood Mike Moynihan deigns to rejoin the Troika of Truth in our last podcast before Election 2016 is dumped on our heads like a sack of dead rats. Kmele heroically calls in from “Easter Island” (a massage bar on the Upper West Side?) to let everyone know that he STILL thinks that maybe Donald Trump hasn’t been playing footsie with David Duke all along. For longer than Bill Weld probably deserves, we discuss the oddness of the Libertarian vice presidential nominee “vouching for Mrs. Clinton” on The Rachel Maddow Show. And Moynihan finds an idiot who wrote some garbage about Amy Schumer.

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This week, comedian Andrew Schulz (http://theandrewschulz.com, The Brilliant Idiots Podcast) stops by, Moynihan is a no show, and things get out of hand quickly (The 'explicit content' warning is there for a reason people).

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We selected some stories, organized them in a thoughtful way -- and even developed a few punchy segways. But we didn't do much with any of that...

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Moynihan watches the presidential debate with his old pal Glenn Beck. Donald Trump doesn't understand how handshakes work at all. Hillary Clinton should probably give up on email at this point. And there's obviously only one hope for avoiding an all out nuclear conflict between the United States and Russia: someone's gonna need to arm the Kurds while setting up a 'No Fly Zone'...

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2016 Libertarian Party Presidential Hopeful Gary Johnson Swings By.

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Near the tail end of the recording, Moynihan pronounced this the best show we've ever done...' Perhaps so.

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The triumvirate has much to discuss after a weekend disrupted by terror attacks in several states and yet another high profile police shooting. Media speculation, double standards and misestimation of risk abound. Also... Denzel Washington.

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We had to MacGyver the hell out of this weeks dispatch. It's almost as if someone was trying to stop us... (Just asking questions here). Aleppo, Baskets of 'Deplorables', More Hacked Emails, Hillary's Flu-Ghazi... or is it a Trumpian Putanist plot (JUST ASKING QUESTIONS)...

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Colin Kaepernick rides the pine (which makes sense on many levels). Donald Trump visits Mexico. Hillary Clinton squares off with the AltRight. A few things remain unclear: Will our heroes ever get around to the oft promised discussion of 'private prisons'? Will Welch learn to properly operate the clock in the studio? Will Mexico pay for the wall? Will Moynihan finally learn how to 'Dab'?

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When Buck Sexton sits in for the hour there's a good chance the conversation will turn to foreign policy. As it turns out, that's exactly what happened and despited promises to the contrary, it pretty much stayed there. We did manage to establish a new (as in 'first ever' and 'only') Official Beer of the Fifth Column, so that's something. Other highlights: It's Moynihan's Birthday... Pretty sure Matt is drunk... and Kmele managed to pretzel Paul Krugman, Isis, Obama Care and the War in Iraq into a single metaphor -- fair chance he's drunk too.

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Moynihan is off this week, appears he had obligations related to something he's describing as 'his real job'. We don't know what that's supposed to mean but it sounds illegal. Author and Observer columnist Michael Malice fills the empty chair for am hour and change, shouts things into the mic and generally enriches our regular rhetorical intercourse.

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Episode 20: The most discursive and 'intrupty' installment to date, but never worry, they always stick that landing (that's an Olympics reference).

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The Conventions are over, Welch, Moynihan and Foster are back in Gotham and it feels like Autumn in August.

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The Fifth Column's presidential convention coverage continues. Matt Welch phones in from the convention floor in Philadelphia, Moynihan convalesces in New York after a harrowing Republican convention and Foster dabs his brow compassionately with a damp cold cloth.

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Welch and Moynihan from the Floor of the RNC Convention... What could possibly go wrong?

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A trifecta of highly charged police involved shootings dominate the headlines; what are the odds that resulting media coverage and political rhetoric are substantive, fact-based and solutions oriented? And what is President Obama going on about? Plus: Which member of the triumvirate was roughed up for backtalking the cops? Will Barbra Boxer accept Welch's VERY indecent proposal?And, perhaps most importantly, when is carrying around a bottle of wine in a Ziplock bag filled with ice not dignified and respectable? Probably when you refuse to share.

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What is Kmele hiding in Greece? Why is Donald Trump taking advantage of Hillary Clinton’s email lawbreaking by doubling down on the Star of David? And what on earth is the man who contributed to the downfall of pop-science journo-fabulist Jonah Lehrer doing giving the guy a second chance? Also: Chilcot Report, Tony Blair, Iraq regrets, over-classification, and just how many drinks constitutes “a couple” over at Vice News.Foster, Welch and Moynahan discuss...

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What does your dimwitted brother-in-law actually know about Brexit? What actual difference does this Benghazi report make? And finally, will the well monied and influential attendees of the Black Entertainment Television Awards ever overcome their hateful adversaries and obtain actual freedom? Those do sound like very long odds. Producer's Note: The episode is brought to you by the letter 'B' and the word 'Actual'.Foster, Welch and Moynahan discuss... and the glamours Virgina Postrel drops by.

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What's the most [REDACTED] ever to [REDACTED]? Can someone really be 'completely brilliant' and 'wrong about virtually everything'? Will we ever get tired of talk'n bout OJ? In a baseball cap and shorts, is Matt the spitting image of Dennis the Menace? Yes.

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What do Harry Potter, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton have in common? Is it still 'politicizing the tragedy' if everyone's doing it?

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What the hell happened to Matt? How awful was Bernie Sanders week and why does he hate women? Why you got to be all racist?

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Will Johnson & Weld make it to the presidential debate stage? Just who is this French fellow -- is he really running for POTUS and why's he omitting all the best bits from his Game of Thrones write-ups?

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Trump and Sanders carry populist revolutions to their respective conventions; will violence ensue? Are we witnessing the end of the culture wars? Plus, thoughts on the Freddie 'Gaye', Black Lives Matter, and those lapel cameras.

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If you hurriedly discuss the primary race will it end any faster? If you'd previously maintained that an economic miracle was unfolding in Venezuela, are you morally obliged to move there? 'If you agree wit him, why you throwin shade?'

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Would Tyler Durden vote for candidate Trump? Why can't super rich authors have everything they want? Is 'Cookie's' accent wonderful or fantastic?

Charles C.W. Cooke of National Review stops by.

Foster, Welch and Moynihan discuss.

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