Members Only #153 - Make Way For the Big Boyz

• Radical Honesty
• A Year of (Racial) Reckoning
• Losing the Thread
• George Floyd
• Amy Cooper, Christian Cooper... and the other dog walkers?
• Covering Lab Leaks and UFOs
• The Death of Truth
• The Myth of Objectivity
• Journalism for the Real World
• Boston Basketball (and racial slurs)
• Trump Grand jury

Recorded May 26, 2021

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w/ Congressman Peter Meijer (R-MI)

• Crypto Bloodbath
• UFOs -- or are they UAPs
• The Jan 6th Commission (Part I)
• Lori Lightfoot Won't Talk To White Journalists
• Homeless in San Francisco
• The White Man's Burden
• A Call from Peter
• About That Vote
• The Revolt of the Public
• The Feels
• The Truth is Out There

Recorded May 19, 2021

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The lads (minus Kmele, recently felled by his second Pfizer shot) welcome Los Angeles Times columnist Gustavo Arellano, host of the new LAT podcast 'The Times' and author of Taco USA: How Mexican Food Conquered America. Note that after an hour of Gustavo's trademark Southern California/Mexican smack talk--in which he defends Taco Bell, ruminates on 'LatinX,' explains 'Tio Tacos' and 'Chicanosauruses,' and describes American ethnic tensions that don't involve white people (!)--Moynihan and Welch return to discuss the on-going disasters in Israel, the economy, and the Republican Party.

Sure, everything is awful. But as always, The Fifth Column is here to point out just how awful and reassure you that it absolutely won't get better in the near future.

Recorded May 12, 2021

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- The Fifth Column live in Miami! Is this the post-COVID Gilluming you’ve been waiting for?

- Matt is Drudged: equity v. equality

- Racism becomes more systemic, less specific 

- Basecamp asks employees to leave politics at the door…or head for the door

- Are a bunch of smart libertarian legal scholars wrong or super wrong?

- The Socialist Network: the GOP wants to compel Facebook to be nice to DJT

- The GOP wants to compel Liz Cheney to stop being mean to DJT

- Matt and Kmele yell at each other about Hillary Clinton and DJT

- And so very much more....

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w/ Paul Rossi (Math Teacher and Writer)

https://bariweiss.substack.com/p/i-refuse-to-stand-by-while-my-students

A verdict in the trial of Derek Chauvin, the former officer convicted of murdering George Floyd, is an undeniable milestone for the entire country with wide-ranging implications for American media, politics, and culture. Had things gone differently, America would likely have seen another outbreak of 'mostly peaceful protest' -- seasons with healthy smatterings of outright political violence.

And in K-12 classrooms across the country, another phase of America's 'racial justice' cultural war continues to play out. Paul Rossi joins our distinguished triumvirate to share details of the still-unfolding drama he incited by voicing opposition to one elite Manhattan private school's critical race theory-inspired antiracism programming.

Plus:

• Adam Toledo
• Ma'Khia Bryant
• 'Kindly Inquisitors'
• Why one Miami Venue REFUSED to host @wethefifth live recording (Hint: 'It's cause somebody got' that transphobia.' SMH)

Recorded: 4.21.2021

Published: 4.23.2021

'Just cuz I'm a freak, don't mean that we could hit the sheets' - Gregory Jacobs

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'What you think all the guns is for?' - Christopher Wallace

w/ Alex Nowrasteh (Director of Immigration Studies @ The Cato Institute)

A supersized dispatch, because fully resolving the various problems in America's immigration and criminal justice system -- takes a little time. Especially when you're forced to contend w/ WHITE SUPREMACY [Insert Ghost Emoji]. It's kinda like a podcast-mixtape.

A - SIDE

• The Curious State of US Immigration
• Reality, Theater, Textbook Political + Bureaucratic Failure 
• The Welfare State vs Open Borders 
• The (Great?) Replacement
• AOC's Plan
• Kamala's Rope-A-Dope

B - SIDE

• DMX, Shawn Kemp, Bob Marley
• Humble Beginnings
• The Defense Rests
• Where the Hell is Brooklyn Center
• The Word You're Looking For is 'Discharge'
• Live Tweeting
• We're Going to South Beach

Recorded: 4.14.2021

Published: 4.17.2021

1 Bitcoin = $61,041.60

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• Hunter 'Squirtle' Biden
• Matt 'Making Arrangements' Gaetz
• Adventures in the Havana Hilton?
• When Everything is Sex Trafficking? (Not Exactly)
• A New Era of Bipartisanship
• Win Ben Stein's Heart
• The American Metaphor Council
• Who's D riving the Democratic Party
• China and Bitcoin
• Self Correcting Journalism
• Tweets Bad. Accessory to the murder of a Judge -- we have to be understanding
• Kmele Loves Guns
• Universal Basic Income for Mom's of Color
• Structural Racism Tamagotchi
• Harrison Bergeron General Hospital

Recorded April 8th, 2021

Published April 9th, 2021

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(In No Particular Order)

• Live From New York
• DRINK
• AOC AMA
• CDC Press Conference 
• Mask Etiquette
• DRINK
• Derek Chauvin on Trial (Week 1)
• Eight Fingers Left
• Tar Babies
• A Thing Greater Than Yourself
• Voter Suppression 2.0
• DRINK
• Corporate Welfare
• Five Pinocchios
• Ending Ken Burns
• The Cowardly Doormen

Recorded April 1st, 2021

Published April 3rd, 2021

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Summary

• Kmele Loses an Entire Dispatch
• Moynihan's Most Racist Voice
• Important Homework
• What We Might Have Talked About
• Mass Shootings
• Hate Crime Hysterics and Lies
• Ending the War in Afghanistan
• Nationa Building
• Whale Watching + 400 Years of Suffering
• Leaving Sesame Street

Recorded March 25th, 2021

Published March 26th, 2021

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Guest: Jeffery Sachs, Lecturer in Politics @ Acadia University

• Snyder Cut
• Sympathy for Dictators
• Useful Pretense of Justice
• How Did Sachs Get It So Wrong
• State of the New Culture War
• Free Speech Hypocrisy
• The Left Is Worse, Right?
• Power Imbalance
• Coastal Myopia
• What if We're Wrong (Again*)

Recorded March 18th, 2021

Published March 22th, 2021

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Guest: Katie Herzog, HOST @ 'Blocked & Reported'

• Keeping Secrets
• Coming 2 America
• Transphobia is Bad
• A Most Prescient Cancelation
• Say THE WORD, Katie
• They'll Never Give You A Reson
• The Tax Code is Racist
• Plato's Utopia
• Rescue Package in Name Only
• Tucker Carlson, Mean Person
• Tinker Taylor, Toy Soldier
• Virtual Ball Busting
• Pretending Things Ain't Complicated
• The Shape of A Joke
• The Many Trials of George Floyd
• RIP DC

Recorded March 10th, 2021

Published March 12th, 2021

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Guest: Ben Smith, Media Columnist @ The New York Times

• From BuzzFeed to The NYT
• When Your Bosses are Kinda THE Story
• Why We Can't Stop Talking About The Times
• Newsroom Cultural
• White Privilege and Employee Orientation
• Resignations*
• Caliphate vs. 1619
• 'My Notebook Remains Open'
• Losing the Newsroom
• You Will Sign This Letter
• Vanilla Mandella
• Biggie Smalls
• When Van Met Ibram X
• Simple, Elegant, Almost Certainly Wrong
• Things Get Worse for Cuomo

Recorded March 2nd, 2021

Published March 4th, 2021

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Guest: Matt Taibbi @ Contributing Editor @ Rolling Stone. Author, 'Hate Inc'

• Niggarati
• Privilege Childhood
• The Art of the Substack Deal
• The Shift
• An Active Conspiracy or An Active Conspiracy
• The Escape, And Uncertain Horizon
• It's Just a Camp, For Kids, So It's Fine
• Trump at CPAC
• A Good Shoot
• Bidenomics
• Listen to Black People
• Didn't Even Say The Word

Recorded Feb 24th, 2021

Published Feb 25th, 2021

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Guest: Martin Gurri @ Author, 'The Revolt of the Public'

• Prophecy, Historical Cycles, and Modest Frameworks
• From Information Monopoly to Information Tsunami
• Public Dissatisfaction
• Elites in Crisis
• Public Nihilism
• Historical Amnesia
• The Yellow Vests, Jan 6th, 2021
• Political Sectarianism
• Truth + Objectivity + Resentment
• Drama at the New York Times
• The Future of Media and Truth
• Plato's Perfect Form of Justice
• Fact Check

Recorded Feb 17th, 2021

Published Feb 18th, 2021

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• Pump and Dump
• Matt Bought Crack
• Real Compton City Gs
• Really Only One Bad Word
• The Public Interest
• Irrelevant Context
• MTG vs. AOC: Most Insane? Best Actress?
• 'I Can Only Be a Non-White Person'
• Why The Culture War Matters
• Merit: The Racism of Fairness Racist
• Covid Cumo, And the Incurious Media

Recorded Feb 3rd, 2021

Published Feb 5th, 2021

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Guest: Van Lathan @ 'Higher Learning' (Co-Host), Previously @ TMZ

Kmele and Van connect for a wide-ranging conversation about racism, reconciliation, and finding common ground. It's yet another exercise in constructive disagreement. In fact, it's the back half of a three-hour discussion that managed to feature vanishingly few points of agreement -- and zero personal insults.

• Oculus Quest
• THOUGHT Warriors
• Uncle Tom: A Most Dangerous Man
• If Everyone Listened to Kmele...
• Listing + Reconciliation
• Representation
• Racecraft
• Strangefruit
• MLK and the FBI
• Juneteenth
• Candace Owens Brother

Recorded Jan 27th, 2021

Published Feb 3rd, 2021

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• Make a Mint w/ Moynihan
• Who's Behind the Squeeze
• On the War Path
• Strange Bedfellows
• Popularity Contests
• Even Libertarians
• Equity and Private Prisons
• Coming Attractions

Recorded Jan 28th, 2020

Published Jan 29th, 2020

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It is upon us: that very rare occasion when we unlock a Patreon episode for the masses. 🎁🎁🎁

If you are clever and don't want to miss future locked episodes, subscribe here.

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Rather than our typical bullet-pointed show notes, we'll keep this one short and sweet. Because try as they might to pull the conversation away from Kmele's bravura performance on Real Time with Bill Maher, the lads just couldn't manage it. Although they do respond to a listener email about the Pet Shop Boys...and Kmele does says the word kerfluffle.

That is all. 

Enjoy.

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• Is Melania the greatest first lady since Florence Harding?
• Does MC Hammer hate Kmele?
• Let the sycophancy begin!
• Qanonsense
• Understanding the Trump voter
• We're all weird and wrong
• The new Republican Party is awful. So is the new Democratic Party.
• The dumb 1776 project: 'It's like Stephen Miller pooped on a legal pad'
• Hating big tech
• How not to combat bad speed

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Guest: Anna Khachiyan @ 'Red Scare' (Co-Host)

• Kinda Canceled
• Holding the Mic
• Outrage Boner
• Dirtbags
• Tight Sweaters, Tighter Shirts
• Mo' Impeachments
• The MAGA Riots
• Culpability
• Cultural Amnesia, Sweetest Taboos
• Canceling Trump
• Canceling the Rest of Yall?

Recorded Jan 13t, 2020

Published Jan 14th, 2020

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Welcome to 2021

• A Coup d'état? An Insurrection?
• A dark beginning? A despicable bookend? A world of shit?
• We'll get to that -- but we're gonna need a lot more booze.

Recorded Jan 6th, 2021

Published Jan 7th, 2021

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- Kmele 2020

- AllyShip

- Secret Shows

- The Internet Never Forgets

- Trap Lord

- Burning the Witch (and maybe that annoying lady from down the street too)

- Puritanism Without The Fun

- Schadenfreude

- Inconveniencing the Steal

- Eviscerating Democracy (w/ Hyperbole)

- Stop Laughing -- It's Not Funny

- Thank You

Recorded Dec 30th, 2020

Published Dec 31st, 2020

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Guest: Greg Lukianoff @ Foundation for Individual Rights in Education (President). Co-Author, 'The Coddling of the American Mind'

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Recorded Dec 23rd, 2020

Published Dec 25th, 2020

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• New Views
• Demographic Considerations
• What Seems to Be The Problem Officer?
• The Honorable Minister
• Vaccine Rollout
• Careful Reporting
• Post Trump News Cycle
• The Flagrancy
• Predicting Apocalypse

Recorded Dec 17th, 2020

Published Dec 19th, 2020

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Look, you asked for it. Fifth fan favorite (ed - we really don't understand you people) and Mother Jones editorial director Ben Dreyfuss (né Gould) is back. And the results are wonderfully shambolic. But seriously: make sure the kids are in bed before press play....

• Ben is 'on leave' from Mother Jones
• Why Ben's editor blocked him on Twitter (and you should too)
• No ice in Hawaii, no avocados in Wisconsin
• The worst movie Ben's dad ever made (Or was it the best?)
• Why everyone in DC hates Facebook
• Why people read dumb articles on Facebook
• Ben starts a Substack. Obviously.
• What Ben learned about Donald Trump in the suicide ward
• Manipulating people on the internet
• And so much more...

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'The Toad style is immensely strong, and immune to nearly any weapon. When it's properly used, it's almost invincible.' - Five Deadly Venoms

• Way Out Of Line
• The Incredible Asshole Machine
• Related Controversy
• A Stolen*** Election
• Obama 💘 Cops
• Welcome to Murderapolis
• A Civil War, A Tent Revival
• Han Obviously Shot First (Probably Doesn't Matter)
• Bothsidesing: Maybe Not a Bad Idea
• Revivalist vs Redistributionist
• American Pie

Recorded Dec 3nd, 2020

Published Dec 4th, 2020

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An issue with the mics. An inspired fix. A nearly aborted dispatch manages to slide into your feed just in time for the stranges Thanksgiving in decades.

• A Rolling Start
• When Moynihan Met Oprah
• Coup d'é HAHAHAHAHA
• 'I Told You'
• Salvaging the Culture
• Crisis of Authority
• Covid Masks
• Murder Rates
• Generational Divides
• Calling it Quits
• It's A Job, Ain't It?

Recorded Nov 24th, 2020

Published Nov 26th, 2020

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Guest: Glenn Greenwald @ Co-Founder, The Intercept

• The Move to Substack (https://greenwald.substack.com/)
• The Marvelousness of the Fifth Column
• The Job Market
• The Reply to Critics
• The Blow by Blow
• The Culture
• The Hunter Biden Laptop Situation

Recorded Oct 30th, 2020

Published Nov 19th, 2020

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Guest: Jason Stanley @ Author, 'How Fascism Works', Professor of Philosophy @ Yale.

• The Answer
• Extremely Online, Prospective Hypocrisy
• Cancel Culture
• No Tellin
• Trump's Blacketst Swan
• But He's a Fascist
• Critical Race Back and Forth
• Pretty Good (for a Black Guy)
• Covid

Recorded Nov 12th, 2020

Published Nov 14th, 2020

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• What Election?
• The Perils of Watching Cable News
• What You Talkin Bout Welch
• The Got'Damn Polls
• Anticipated Unrest
• Black Woman Stabbed, By Black Lives Matters Supporters?
• What Happens to the Media
• What Happens to Republicans
• What Happens to Democrats
• Stereotypes are Fine Now
• You People Aren't Supposed to Vote That Way
• Woke-spiracy
• Fighting Them on The Beach

Recorded Nov 4th, 2020

Published Nov 5th, 2020

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• Bannon's back. The New York Post isn't.  
• Don’t talk about Hunter!
• Are we living in a Techno Fascist Reich?
• Regulate, regulate, regulate
• The unforeseen consequences of deplatforming?
• Qanon inflation 
• To the gulag, go!
• Russia, Russia, Russia
• Which New York Times editor does Matt call 'a loathsome toad'?
• FYI: Political journalists cannot cover “politically driven events”
• Debate, debate, debate
• Coherent on Corona! 
• But also full of shit!
• And Corona reporting is still awful 
• Mad Matt on a Mendacious Media 
• Are people still wiping down their groceries?
• WHATS UP TWITTER WORLD, IT’S THE JUICE
• Jeff Toobin, American Hero / OJ, not guilty
• Maybe an election-night Zoom thing?

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• Moynihan's Old, New House
• COVID... is Fake?
• Siri, Do Black Lives Matter?
• Dueling Town Halls
• Everyone is Awful, Even You, (But Not Really)
• The Brief And Highly Overrated Return of Respectability Politics
• Politics of Bullshit
• Foreign Bodies
• The Revolt of the Public
• Darkest Totalitarian Hellscape

Recorded Oct 18, 2020

Published Oct 20, 2020

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Guest: Damon Root @ Reason Magazine, Author, 'A Glorious Liberty: Frederick Douglass and the Fight for an Antislavery Constitution'

• Trump Makes His Pick
• How Republicans Will Be Disappointed
• Court Packing And Other Shenanigans
• Historical Context, Oppressing People of Color
• COVID Rumors
• Debate Night Dog Whistles
• What Trump Really Means
• Vote by Mail (But Throw Out the Ballots)
• The First and Only Lady

Recorded Oct 1, 2020

Published Oct 3, 2020

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NOTE: This dispatch was beleaguered by technical and logistical challenges. The audio actually turned out pretty good (all things considered), but the entire thing was very nearly scrapped. Those challenges contributed to a delayed-release — and because the world has gone quite mad —the news cycle is evolving rapidly. 

All the same, still lots of very relevant (even prophetic) stuff in this dispatch, but it was recorded before the Breonna Taylor Grand Jury announcement that inspired a night of protests, riots, and violence. 

• Home Improvement
• Latinx, Things You Must Know About The Cuban
• Trust the Process
• Debate Preview
• RBG
• Hypocrisy and Norm Evisceration
• Who to Blame
• A Loss of Faith, A Looming Election Hellscape
• About that TikTok Deal
• We Choose Violence
• 1619 Lies, Bullshit, Stealth Edits, Motivated Reasoning
• If The Schools Already Suck, Can 1619 Make Them Worse (or better)
• National Patriotism Curriculum
• All My Critics Are Racist, Which Is Terribly Convenient for Me

Recorded Sept 20, 2020

Published Sept 24, 2020

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Guest: Steve Kornacki, National Political Corespondent @NBC News / MSNBC

• Making TV News During a Pandemic
• Doing Your Own Makeup
• Last Man in Midtown
• We're All You Tubers Now
• It'll Be a Blow-Out, Or It'll Be Close
• Polls You Can Trust
• Black Voters, Impeachment, Collusion
• State of the Parties
• State of the Union
• State of the Media
• Paper or Plastic

Recorded Sept 11, 2020

Published Sept 13, 2020

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Guest: Nancy Romemelmann, journalist and author of To the Bridge: A True Story of Motherhood and Murder

Moynihan is back from Kenosha, and Nancy Rommelmann returns for an update on the goings-ons in Portland.

• On the ground in Kenosha
• On the ground in Portland
• Media Malpractice, Self Deception
• DC, Rochester, What's Next
• Biden v Trump
• *Worse Than Useless Facts*
• Details That Matter
• Going Full MAGA

Recorded Sept 5, 2020

Published Sept 6, 2020

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