Aug 27, 2022·edited Aug 27, 2022Liked by Matt Welch
I like drunk Matt. Listen to episode 301–The Fiffiversary. Moynihan slurs, slightly, Kmellie takes the most adderall, and Matt gets so drunk that he floats away in a river of booze.
I have pretty much always used Photoshop, not because it is great but because it is predictable. I once bought an ipad just to try out Procreate, which is a solid program but I really didn't like the ipad so I gave it so someone else. The progam I am playing with now might be a game changer moving forward tho, its from a company called Affinity, they have a photoshop and illustrator clone that work great! They are both super lean (not all that bloat like adobe has) and what I think is most important, you buy it, its yours pricing model. Not this "pay ransom everymonth, call home to the mother ship" garbage adobe does. If I was talking to anyone interested in getting into digital doodles, that is where I would point them for sure. All this is prolly TMI for a fif comment, but idk it is one of those things I have a bit of knowledge about and hate to see people make the same fuckups as me. Also Wacom's ONE tablet has come down dramatically in price AND you can get one at bestbuy! A lot of folks can't get used to tablet drawing, and tend to fall out of it. But this one has a screen you draw on, supports third party pens, AND it comes from best buy, so if you aren't diggin it you can take it back! The eggs look pretty funny, might need to see some more of those btw. :D
it really reminds me of what photoshop was like back in the 90s-00s, just does what it says on the tin. Not bogged down with all the crazy filters, animation bullshit, and "cloud" gibberish :D
The White Wince is a superhero in the Kendi Multiverse. He can hear racially problematic comments from miles away and teleports to the offender, winces, and says “Bro, really? Do better.” and then disappears.
1) Redbox often has a better selection than Netflix because Netflix needs to secure streaming rights. RedBox's ability to secure distribution rights for the physical media is near limitless.
2) I use Redbox primarily for purchase in which you can obtain a 2nd hand "well loved" commodity with no noticable depreciation at 80% price discount. You may scoff at the physical media in the age of Netflix, but keep in mind how often Fifth talks about the decade no one could watch "Lucky Louis" or the half century you can't watch "Song of the South".
3) The only service near as useful as Redbox is Piracy. But with how things are going, when the FBI raids my house with a [redacted] affidavit for wrong think trying to find out why I have Cosby Show Season 4 on my hard drive, they can search through 40 boxes of physical media and suck my balls.
Speaking the truth on the lack of internet. Until four months ago parents didn’t have access to internet unless it was some overpriced satellite internet that was data capped for like $150 per month. Finally got them the t mobile home internet and it is a game changer. The starlink just got to the area but required a $500 deposit and about $100 per month. The t mobile is like $50.
So assume kmele doesn’t shop at wal-mart or stop at circle k gas stations. All the poor people using their red boxes. How else do I support Bruce Willis’s straight to dvd releases?
I walked right past a Redbox as they were shitting on them and laughed when I saw it.
I agree that they have value though I’ve used them maybe 2 times and that was probably 10 years ago.
I go to Panera and coffee shops when I need to study or focus on something boring and I often see regulars who come at the same time everyday with a lunchbox and they sometimes buy a drink, but mostly seem to be using the free internet. I assume those people find Redbox great.
The economic point Kmele made is correct if you are already paying for internet service. However, if you don’t pay for internet then renting 5 or even 15 so movies a month is probably still cheaper.
Aug 27, 2022Liked by Matt Welch, Michael C. Moynihan
Now I want Moynihan to drop in the handclaps from John Fogerty's "Centerfield" in place of the "Magnificent Seven" sample to edit around Matt's baseball metaphors.
I'm for the government subsidizing the tuition of students going into high demand fields like nursing, since them being nurses is beneficial to everyone involved. If you borrowed 100K and got an MFA in poetry, I'd be more in favor of a government service program that pays it back. (Unless your thesis was written about a certain distinguished gentleman from Nantucket, in which case, the government should not only cover your outstanding loans but also fund your doctorate).
Right on time: Dealer is back in town, Fiff coming soon ( I suspect Matt is behind the botched release, he’s a tech-tard™️), nuts hangin’, fuckin’ birds are chirpin’, stole my neighbors newspaper, again.
Public universities should be taxpayer funded with conditions for completing education in the appropriate time. Also one should not have to go into considerable debt to get an educational opportunity
Make the universities co-sign on the loan. Make them have skin in the game. I guarantee you almost overnight you’d see a huge reduction in useless administrators and grievance studies degrees.
It’s ironic to me that many of the people who are most rabidly pro-debt forgiveness are the people who never had any. I’m sorry, but if mom and dad footed your whole bill, you don’t get to lecture people who had to take out loans and paid them. It reminds me of people I know who blame “boomers” for everything. These people have never been unemployed. They’ve never been through a layoff or months of grueling interviews. From where I sit, they’ve had it pretty easy. Yet they need to blame the previous generation for their whole life? Eric Hofer summed it up: we are more frustrated when we have much and want more than when we have nothing and want some. (The True Believer, 1951)
1. Throwback to last episode: people like cops and bouncers in strip clubs refer to people as "gentlemen" in an effort to control their behavior and make them behave in situations where acting badly has real consequences...getting bounced out of a strip club, or acting a fool in an engagement with cops. They hope by calling you a "gentleman", you might act like one.
2. Hey Matt Welch - NO, FUCK. YOU. Get a trebuchet and send Fauci over the Potomac, because he's an authoritarian, preening, self-important little gnome who has destroyed the concept of public health for generations. All DeSantis was doing was channeling the anger we all feel. Here we have Joe Biden calling half the country semi-facists...and we should just take what technocrats and their progressive masters dish out? Seriously...step off.
What was it when Al Gore, Hillary Clinton, John Kerry, and Stacy Abrams questioned election results?
Lack of trust in the opposition and institutions, and absolute contempt for the opposition. Same thing here. I don't see people goose-stepping in the street - the closest thing to fascist street thugs we have are ANTIFA goons - who, by the way, were allowed to run rampant in the streets for weeks in 2020 with the tacit approval and support of the American left - doing $20 billion in property damage and with people being murdered and assaulted.
What Trump did was bad, and I didn't vote for him. Lying to his supporters was beyond the pale and he should have been impeached and removed. Unfortunately Pelosi wanted him around as the gift that keeps on giving, and put forward shit articles that allowed him to remain in our politics.
True fascists are powerless in the US...unless you're talking about left-wing fascism, which is alive and well.
The thing that’s most galling about the rising cost of tuition is that those increased expenses aren’t just supplying diminishing marginal returns; they’re funding things that arguably subtract value. Rather than distributing limited resources for necessary work, administrators and HR departments can just make up a new dire need—specialized services for students with cat allergies—and tack a few extra dollars on the bill to fund a new Director of Services and a separate research fellowship to examine the historical erasure of students with cat allergies. Then, eventually, there will need to be a year-long, $300,000 investigation to find that the term “students with cat allergies” is literally genocide against non-students with cat allergies. In other words, so much of that tuition bill is just funding an ever-growing work program for the whole ecosystem of otherwise unemployable graduates with degrees in Comparative American Basket-Making. (Oberlin grad, BTW—there was plenty of basket-making and weirdos loudly singing opera from bicycles, but there were more normies there in the late aughts than you’d think!)
I’d love to see a figure of how much money is spent by universities on studies resulting in groundbreaking discoveries vs. cat allergy studies with trivial results
I'm a fortysomething UK based university student who started on a humanities course. I've been reconsidering my choice for a while now, but rather than switching to something "useful" I'm going undercover on a sociology module. I'm genuinely intrigued to see how much of it will be activism masquerading as education. It might be a slightly masochistic move, but I'm hoping it will give me a better understanding of what is being pumped out. In the spirit of Moynihan, I'll be refusing to let the impenetrable jargon scare me away.
Monsanto’s business practices are not above reproach for sure (downright dastardly perhaps?), but roundup and roundup ready crops are a fantastic set of inventions that have helped feed BILLIONS of people and reduced land required for farming worldwide. Roundup also enables no till agriculture and a bunch of other low impact farming techniques.
Roundup is safe PERIOD- the toxicology data is very clear in repeated studies. All of the negative press around it is just Greenpeace back to the land/FUD/misinformation where they extrapolate non significant effects. But hey, that is what Greenpeace does for everything (nuclear, climate change, whaling, and on and on until ALL THE HIPPIES ARE DEAD).
I have seriously considered replacing all this green bullshit with prairie flowers....but I'd have to talk my Wife into that. And that's more talk power than I think I have.
“If You Major in STEM, It Doesn’t Matter Where You Go to College”
“We find no statistically significant differences in average earnings for science majors between selective schools and either midtier or less-selective schools. Likewise, there’s no significant earnings difference between engineering graduates from selective and less-selective colleges, and only a marginally significant difference between selective and midtier colleges.
…That said, the earnings picture is very different for other fields. Outside of STEM, it matters tremendously where a student receives a degree.”
Moynihan pinning college dropout rates on postmodernism is the most Jordan Peterson moment he’s ever had. That said, I do loathe postmodernism and I welcomed the rant.
Listening to the beginning of this dispatch, it occurs to me that Mr. Foster might have a rare kink known as Autokmelephilia. A person with this experiences arousal from the thought that he is Kmele Foster.
I like angry Matt
I like drunk Matt. Listen to episode 301–The Fiffiversary. Moynihan slurs, slightly, Kmellie takes the most adderall, and Matt gets so drunk that he floats away in a river of booze.
That’s how I remember it anyhow.
https://api.substack.com/feed/podcast/815642/private/6bcf3835-6a74-4337-a8a0-e937eb49a5f1.rss
I like naughty nurse Matt.
Naughty nurse Matt is bangin.’
Is that the one where Nancy passes out somewhere? :D
Yo Cluis! What software do you use to draw with? Your drawings are great.
I mainly draw on eggs, as you can see in my profile picture.
I have pretty much always used Photoshop, not because it is great but because it is predictable. I once bought an ipad just to try out Procreate, which is a solid program but I really didn't like the ipad so I gave it so someone else. The progam I am playing with now might be a game changer moving forward tho, its from a company called Affinity, they have a photoshop and illustrator clone that work great! They are both super lean (not all that bloat like adobe has) and what I think is most important, you buy it, its yours pricing model. Not this "pay ransom everymonth, call home to the mother ship" garbage adobe does. If I was talking to anyone interested in getting into digital doodles, that is where I would point them for sure. All this is prolly TMI for a fif comment, but idk it is one of those things I have a bit of knowledge about and hate to see people make the same fuckups as me. Also Wacom's ONE tablet has come down dramatically in price AND you can get one at bestbuy! A lot of folks can't get used to tablet drawing, and tend to fall out of it. But this one has a screen you draw on, supports third party pens, AND it comes from best buy, so if you aren't diggin it you can take it back! The eggs look pretty funny, might need to see some more of those btw. :D
Holy shit, Affinity is $19.99.
Thanks, I’ll see if the eggs wanna party some more.
it really reminds me of what photoshop was like back in the 90s-00s, just does what it says on the tin. Not bogged down with all the crazy filters, animation bullshit, and "cloud" gibberish :D
I don’t think so, I listened to 301, The Fiffiversary, months ago.
Post it if you find it, please.
I can't even begin to find the episode but I am CERTAIN Matt would know it or another fif memeber in here.
I want to hear that episode.
I’d pay good money to hear him and Nancy Rommelmann angry-debate
More uninhibited angry Matt please!
The White Wince is a superhero in the Kendi Multiverse. He can hear racially problematic comments from miles away and teleports to the offender, winces, and says “Bro, really? Do better.” and then disappears.
In defense of RedBox:
1) Redbox often has a better selection than Netflix because Netflix needs to secure streaming rights. RedBox's ability to secure distribution rights for the physical media is near limitless.
2) I use Redbox primarily for purchase in which you can obtain a 2nd hand "well loved" commodity with no noticable depreciation at 80% price discount. You may scoff at the physical media in the age of Netflix, but keep in mind how often Fifth talks about the decade no one could watch "Lucky Louis" or the half century you can't watch "Song of the South".
3) The only service near as useful as Redbox is Piracy. But with how things are going, when the FBI raids my house with a [redacted] affidavit for wrong think trying to find out why I have Cosby Show Season 4 on my hard drive, they can search through 40 boxes of physical media and suck my balls.
And I think Kmele and the boys underestimate how many people still don't even have an internet connection, plus money for a subscription. Looks like between 15 - 23% of *households* still don't have internet, which is of course an even larger percentage of the population. https://www.reviews.org/internet-service/how-many-us-households-are-without-internet-connection/
And of that, a sizable portion use dial-up.
Speaking the truth on the lack of internet. Until four months ago parents didn’t have access to internet unless it was some overpriced satellite internet that was data capped for like $150 per month. Finally got them the t mobile home internet and it is a game changer. The starlink just got to the area but required a $500 deposit and about $100 per month. The t mobile is like $50.
So assume kmele doesn’t shop at wal-mart or stop at circle k gas stations. All the poor people using their red boxes. How else do I support Bruce Willis’s straight to dvd releases?
I walked right past a Redbox as they were shitting on them and laughed when I saw it.
I agree that they have value though I’ve used them maybe 2 times and that was probably 10 years ago.
I go to Panera and coffee shops when I need to study or focus on something boring and I often see regulars who come at the same time everyday with a lunchbox and they sometimes buy a drink, but mostly seem to be using the free internet. I assume those people find Redbox great.
The economic point Kmele made is correct if you are already paying for internet service. However, if you don’t pay for internet then renting 5 or even 15 so movies a month is probably still cheaper.
I like that the FBIs affidavit is already redacted when they bust through your door.
"Sources and Methods"
Now I want Moynihan to drop in the handclaps from John Fogerty's "Centerfield" in place of the "Magnificent Seven" sample to edit around Matt's baseball metaphors.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqY7e4bP9PQ
OMG it's a drum machine!
This whole world is a lie.
A beautiful nostalgic bubble.
A trigger pad, technically. Which would also be a great name for TFC world headquarters.
I always get it confused with Glory Days.
I'm for the government subsidizing the tuition of students going into high demand fields like nursing, since them being nurses is beneficial to everyone involved. If you borrowed 100K and got an MFA in poetry, I'd be more in favor of a government service program that pays it back. (Unless your thesis was written about a certain distinguished gentleman from Nantucket, in which case, the government should not only cover your outstanding loans but also fund your doctorate).
"Oscar Wilde: Gay, sure, but not queer enough for 2022."
- MFA Thesis for your consideration
Right on time: Dealer is back in town, Fiff coming soon ( I suspect Matt is behind the botched release, he’s a tech-tard™️), nuts hangin’, fuckin’ birds are chirpin’, stole my neighbors newspaper, again.
I’m ready, let’s get weird.
Not my fault!
I’m sorry for calling you a tech-tard™️. I didn’t sleep well, and I woke up a little bitchy.
Be well.
I believe you, this time.
Fuckin birds aren’t real, man. The chirpin you hear is x.25 modems and the shit stains on the sidewalk is battery corrosion
Public universities should be taxpayer funded with conditions for completing education in the appropriate time. Also one should not have to go into considerable debt to get an educational opportunity
Make the universities co-sign on the loan. Make them have skin in the game. I guarantee you almost overnight you’d see a huge reduction in useless administrators and grievance studies degrees.
It’s ironic to me that many of the people who are most rabidly pro-debt forgiveness are the people who never had any. I’m sorry, but if mom and dad footed your whole bill, you don’t get to lecture people who had to take out loans and paid them. It reminds me of people I know who blame “boomers” for everything. These people have never been unemployed. They’ve never been through a layoff or months of grueling interviews. From where I sit, they’ve had it pretty easy. Yet they need to blame the previous generation for their whole life? Eric Hofer summed it up: we are more frustrated when we have much and want more than when we have nothing and want some. (The True Believer, 1951)
1. Throwback to last episode: people like cops and bouncers in strip clubs refer to people as "gentlemen" in an effort to control their behavior and make them behave in situations where acting badly has real consequences...getting bounced out of a strip club, or acting a fool in an engagement with cops. They hope by calling you a "gentleman", you might act like one.
2. Hey Matt Welch - NO, FUCK. YOU. Get a trebuchet and send Fauci over the Potomac, because he's an authoritarian, preening, self-important little gnome who has destroyed the concept of public health for generations. All DeSantis was doing was channeling the anger we all feel. Here we have Joe Biden calling half the country semi-facists...and we should just take what technocrats and their progressive masters dish out? Seriously...step off.
What would a fair characterization of MAGA enthusiasts (note, not Republican voters) who believe that the election of 2020 was somehow stolen be?
What was it when Al Gore, Hillary Clinton, John Kerry, and Stacy Abrams questioned election results?
Lack of trust in the opposition and institutions, and absolute contempt for the opposition. Same thing here. I don't see people goose-stepping in the street - the closest thing to fascist street thugs we have are ANTIFA goons - who, by the way, were allowed to run rampant in the streets for weeks in 2020 with the tacit approval and support of the American left - doing $20 billion in property damage and with people being murdered and assaulted.
What Trump did was bad, and I didn't vote for him. Lying to his supporters was beyond the pale and he should have been impeached and removed. Unfortunately Pelosi wanted him around as the gift that keeps on giving, and put forward shit articles that allowed him to remain in our politics.
True fascists are powerless in the US...unless you're talking about left-wing fascism, which is alive and well.
If there’s such a thing as cosmic justice, Fauci would land bare-ass, sphincter-first on a sculpture of a pineapple made of fish hooks and sandpaper.
Brilliant
Lie vs bullshit 🎯
The thing that’s most galling about the rising cost of tuition is that those increased expenses aren’t just supplying diminishing marginal returns; they’re funding things that arguably subtract value. Rather than distributing limited resources for necessary work, administrators and HR departments can just make up a new dire need—specialized services for students with cat allergies—and tack a few extra dollars on the bill to fund a new Director of Services and a separate research fellowship to examine the historical erasure of students with cat allergies. Then, eventually, there will need to be a year-long, $300,000 investigation to find that the term “students with cat allergies” is literally genocide against non-students with cat allergies. In other words, so much of that tuition bill is just funding an ever-growing work program for the whole ecosystem of otherwise unemployable graduates with degrees in Comparative American Basket-Making. (Oberlin grad, BTW—there was plenty of basket-making and weirdos loudly singing opera from bicycles, but there were more normies there in the late aughts than you’d think!)
I’d love to see a figure of how much money is spent by universities on studies resulting in groundbreaking discoveries vs. cat allergy studies with trivial results
I'm a fortysomething UK based university student who started on a humanities course. I've been reconsidering my choice for a while now, but rather than switching to something "useful" I'm going undercover on a sociology module. I'm genuinely intrigued to see how much of it will be activism masquerading as education. It might be a slightly masochistic move, but I'm hoping it will give me a better understanding of what is being pumped out. In the spirit of Moynihan, I'll be refusing to let the impenetrable jargon scare me away.
Pray for me.
I'm supposed to be mowing the lawn this Saturday morning in Missouri. But then I see there's a new Fifth and I guess it'll just grow a little more.
(Didn't want to mow it anyway)
You should kill the grass with Roundup so you never have to mow it again and call yourself a water conservationist.
I don't think using a horrible weed killer to prove I love the environment is the correct first step....but....
Good point. After you kill all the grass, you could strategically plant a patch of dandelions to spell out "Fuck Monsanto".
Monsanto’s business practices are not above reproach for sure (downright dastardly perhaps?), but roundup and roundup ready crops are a fantastic set of inventions that have helped feed BILLIONS of people and reduced land required for farming worldwide. Roundup also enables no till agriculture and a bunch of other low impact farming techniques.
Roundup is safe PERIOD- the toxicology data is very clear in repeated studies. All of the negative press around it is just Greenpeace back to the land/FUD/misinformation where they extrapolate non significant effects. But hey, that is what Greenpeace does for everything (nuclear, climate change, whaling, and on and on until ALL THE HIPPIES ARE DEAD).
/rant
Ok, so I guess the flowers in your yard will spell out "Fuck Greenpeace" then.
Ha!
I have seriously considered replacing all this green bullshit with prairie flowers....but I'd have to talk my Wife into that. And that's more talk power than I think I have.
Say, ‘baby, I do this shit for you—to show my devotion.’ Use Moynihan’s blackcent.
Grass mowing is my prime podcasting time
“If You Major in STEM, It Doesn’t Matter Where You Go to College”
“We find no statistically significant differences in average earnings for science majors between selective schools and either midtier or less-selective schools. Likewise, there’s no significant earnings difference between engineering graduates from selective and less-selective colleges, and only a marginally significant difference between selective and midtier colleges.
…That said, the earnings picture is very different for other fields. Outside of STEM, it matters tremendously where a student receives a degree.”
https://www.the-american-interest.com/2016/02/02/if-you-major-in-stem-it-doesnt-matter-where-you-go-to-college/
Moynihan pinning college dropout rates on postmodernism is the most Jordan Peterson moment he’s ever had. That said, I do loathe postmodernism and I welcomed the rant.
Listening to the beginning of this dispatch, it occurs to me that Mr. Foster might have a rare kink known as Autokmelephilia. A person with this experiences arousal from the thought that he is Kmele Foster.