176 Comments
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I don’t know if it’s just me, but it seemed like the MoynJuice was really FLOWING for Olivia on this pod. Don’t know she if she meets the height threshold, but Jesus, Simmer Down Micheal!

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RIGHT??!? So glad you mentioned this; I felt the exact same thing. Also I have to say: I wish he'd have let her talk more. I was genuinely interested in what she had to say.

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There was a 5-10 min stretch where I suddenly wondered “did Olivia lose connection?”

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At times, Moynihan sounded more like a desperate divorcé and less like (his usual) charming Casanova

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Good thing she isn't current blonde. This would have been a very different type of podcast

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We got treated to an advanced class on negging, free of charge. No notes, and no further questions. Just homework for us.

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Calling Mr. Moynihan a negger. Wow. Tough couple of weeks for the blond zionist.

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I have never heard so much negging in my entire life.

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I hate to say this, but I literally had to look up what negging is. And yep, this was that on the nose. Moynihan will reprise Billy Bob Thorntons role in the next remake of School for Scoundrels

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You've actually passed some sort of ethical check by not knowing. If I had a sister, I'd offer you up a date. Btw, that book The Game by Neil Strauss is actually a really fun read. I bet it would read today as a bit of a time capsule, and preview to what has become of men and dating.

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My time has come-thanks for the episode gents!

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Jun 14Liked by Matt Welch

I did not need to have an existential crisis today about whether I should go blond

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Take this from me, a man with an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality, it matters more to you than it does to us.

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That is true. Most men aren't shallow enough to care about hair color. We mostly care about boob size.

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To the extent that it matters at all, hair length is far more important.

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Even then, you get weirdos like me who are suckers for a pixie cut.

Hair color usually depends on the person. Blonds are beautiful, but Zooey Deschanel loses her enchantment when she’s blond.

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i staunchly believe most women look better with short hair. i will die on this hill.

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Jun 15Liked by Matt Welch

I highly recommend going gray at 16

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Being blond is overrated - at least to some men

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I've always thought brunettes had more fun... (A disillusioned blonde Zionist)

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Am I wrong that Moynihan is blonde? I'm a bit perplexed by his insistence that he isn't. Moreover, I wonder why I care enough to open my laptop and type this.....

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He is a dirty blonde but don't forget he's biased by his Swedish history where blondes are yellow blonde.

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Dirty has multiple meanings :)

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I'm aware ;)

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He's more than a dirty blonde. He's a dirty, dirty, dirty blonde.

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We need childhood photos but I'm sure he was a towhead.

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Most of the world would consider him so, I think.

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As a dark blonde who’s made a convincing redhead at various intervals, I seemed to do my best work during those times.

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That's my mother's hair, going white with that coloring is awesome and took years for people to realize she wasn't a blonde babe.

I'm more your swedish stereotype. I've had hairdressers threaten bodily harm if I ever dye it

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Idk, my dad (a childhood towhead-turned Moynihan blond) has been very very slowly going gray for maybe a decade-plus and is still less than halfway there, and my very dark-haired mom has a mere frost of gray at nearly 70. I don’t think I’m going there for a long time, and when I do, I suspect I might take both my late, super-Scottish grandmothers’ example and lean red (again).

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Can confirm you are a blonde Zionist!

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I’ve always had more fun with brunettes…

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🤷🏼‍♀️

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Uh, she is a very hot brunette. Moynihan just likes women who look like the guys in Poison.

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My type is what my wife derisively refers to as, "those Fox faced brunettes you like". Jennifer Love Hewitt and Anna Kendrick would be the best examples.

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Jun 15Liked by Matt Welch

I see you’re a man of culture.

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As established in a previous comment section.

In her prime, JLH was the foxiest of fox-faced brunettes. I couldn’t get enough of her.

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Word up and down

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So I'll add to the crisis, we really prefer Red heads. The blond thing is just a psyop to convince others they should prefer blond.

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As someone once said, blondes might get noticed, but redheads are never forgotten.

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I’ll further add, why no love for the Raven-haired ladies? Whether it’s pencil straight, full-bodied, or curly it is very under appreciated (thanks to the vast majority of humans on Earth having that hair color)

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Jun 15Liked by Matt Welch

Awesome guest. Olivia is great. Appreciate you guys so much.

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She’s hilarious! Please have her on again.

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And, the giant river otter is the ugly one. Horrifying.

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Jun 15Liked by Matt Welch

Shit your mouth! Stupid sea otters are the Ewoks of the natural world. And they’re rapists. River otters are grace personified. Also, there’s this. https://youtu.be/e-7UbU45a1U?si=JuWCe7DnRcxovYm_

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I just put on my readers. I’m struggling mightily with needing dork goggles. But to be perfectly clear Gabrielle, I meant “shut your mouth”. Definitely not the other word.

Two Otters One Cup. Not that.

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I’m fluent in typo! 😂

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Surely this makes comment of the week

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Those are the cute ones! This is the giant sea otter https://youtube.com/shorts/_YnCsHc8k20?si=ZeGcccwoq5groMOS

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I fucking love these guys. They remind me of Mr. Tirone, my elementary school janitor, who all the kids were scared shitless of but who secretly loved us and showed it by getting lost balls off the roof. How the hell a pissed off Italian from NYC ended up there I have no idea - but dude...if pissed off NYC Italians were animals, they'd be giant river otters.

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Jun 15Liked by Matt Welch

Thanks for posting a video making my point. Awesome predators, moving like nature’s ballerinas. Stupid rapey sea otters lay on their backs and bang shells with rocks. Stupids.

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River otters kick. ass. The giant ones are not the cutest of Lutrinae but they deliver a better fuck you than Samuel L. I wouldn't want to find one in my backyard unless he was fending off one of the many homeless (sorry, "unhoused") trying to take a shit behind my hedge. Where I grew up, there were river otters where we'd go rafting - they're fucking cool.

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Jun 15Liked by Matt Welch

“‘Associate Professor of Ass Scratching” was an all time Matt (nee Michael) Welch line, and it deserved more love in the room.

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Hahahaha except he said at University of Austin on accident 😭💀

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Can confirm that "Hey hey ho ho" is still going strong on the south side of Shitcago

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Bringing those ‘68 vibes just in time for the convention.

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And in Portland! "These Zionists have got to go."

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Despite his protestations, Moynihan is blond-adjacent at the very least. And he was almost certainly very blond as a small child, so case closed.

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Exactly my point!

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A lot of brunettes on the chestnut end of the spectrum were very blond kids. We get darker as we age (in both follicle and disposition).

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Yes, my husband was blond as a child and his sister was always brunette, but they both have the same depth of light-medium brown now, except he’s very warm & she’s very cool ash. Interesting how that works.

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Finally! I figured you guys all had a mutual suicide pact or something. Sheesh. A week? C'mon dudes! Also, I just noticed that the first like 10 reviews on the podcast app of The 5th are universally terrible. This didn't seem to be the case a few months ago. It's *almost* like there're fringe lefties going on just to make the pod seem shitty. Or they're bots. Some refer to The 5th as 'shitty bitter bros' and 'the priest class.' Absurd.

You guys are epic. My favorite pod by a long shot.

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Your post made me go look at the reviews. What f*cking idiots--especially the one talking about the priest class that was overtly racist in the old school way. Made me think of these guys: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ev373c7wSRg

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where do you find reviews? i heard substack has their own podcast app, but i haven't tried using it...

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Apple podcasts maybe? There are some that fit the description.

I use the Substack app and have not found a review section.

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They put out so much regular content, we get spoiled.

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I just want to go on the record as saying that not only do I think Olivia is hotter as a brunette, but I have also spent a majority of my adult life working as a handheld TV news and sports cameraman, and as a bartender/artist/performer in many, many bars, and that should Ms. Reingold like a cameraman/bouncer to accompany her on her next outing, I could free up my schedule for an afternoon.

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Above all, natural hair color is better, whatever that color may be.

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Ten minutes in, two non-blondes. What's going on?

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*slow clap*

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Did Moynihan pop an extra addy or something? Or is that just the Reingold effect?

In any case he was on top form 😂

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The pod always hits different when Moynihan wants to fuck the guest. Also, Kmele denying snowbunny fever wasn't very convincing. From one brotha to anotha, c'mon man! (Joe Biden voice)

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I have loved (and paid for) this podcast for a long time, and this one missed the mark. I think when an attractive woman is present, Moynihan needs to have his mic muted by one of the other hosts and only turned back on when posed a direct question. That or maybe lay off the pre-show and during-the-show drinks. I have listened to him ruin what should've been excellent podcasts with the likes of Kat Rosenfield, Katie Herzog, and others. Couldn't make it through this episode; would've loved to hear Olivia speak in complete sentences instead of the fractured manner in which she was forced to speak thanks to Moynihan's incessant interruptions. Also, Kmele, we miss you and love you and want you to speak and contribute and participate more. Dial back the Moyn, dial up the Kmele and Welch, and let your guests speak, especially your female guests.

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I agree, especially re more Welch & Foster

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👆✅

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So glad to see this comment. This podcast was too painful to listen to due MM’s brutally poor attempts to flirt

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Amen. Less horny and/or drunk Moynihan, more Kmele.

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That’s bullshit- she looks great.

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Glad Moynihan mentioned that new Netfllix nazi doc.

I was watching it and one of the interviewees offhandedly compared Berchtesgaden to Maralago and I nearly had a spit take. Like who the hell are these morons being interviewed, why am I watching this?

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I was going to post about that comparison after Moynihan mentioned it. Sad, because the documentary has some very interesting video and audio and generally retells things pretty well. Commie bad behavior pre-1932 barely merits a mention but still…

But the Trump analogies are only useful in how weak they are, to the Fifth’s point. The mention of “Make Germany Great Again (DWGM?)” was just dumb, as if no other politician has promised restoration of greatness. The Obersalzburg/Maralago comparison was indeed the spit-takeist; if you were searching for a comparison of agreeable midwits with clout gathering in alpine settings for second homes and conclaves to discuss social and economic ass-scratchery (thanks, Matt), thoughts turn to places like Aspen and Jackson Hole - or if you wanted to stay geographically close, Davos. Bertschegarden and Palm Beach have 3 things I know in common - they’re on planet earth, I’ve been there, and some of their current and former residents are world-class idiots. Nothing more.

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Yeah it’s a shame. It’s just that when comments like that are put into a doc it makes me question what the hell else they’re saying that’s insane that I just don’t know enough about to catch. I do also wonder sometimes in docs like this if maybe most of their interviewees are respectable historians that would also scoff at that remark and they just have a few crazies thrown in.

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I don’t think the “experts” on this really added a whole lot. I did appreciate the perspective from Shirer’s family plus the trove of material from him. I do think it was fascinating how the guy wound up in all the places he did.

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Yes, completely. The framing around Shirer initially is what got me interested in the doc to begin with, having listened to (most of, because damn it's long) "The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich."

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I read it and it took forever, but worth it. Same thing brought me in to the doc as well. Not done with it yet, but I’ve enjoyed it so far

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Since we're on the topic of documentaries about Nazi Germany, anyone have favorites or recommendations? In particular, on the rise of Naziism and/or Weimar politics and culture. I love the old 1970s "World at War" (which had an excellent reissue in a restored high-resolution version a few years ago) and another from 1997 called "The Nazis: A Warning from History", but I'm always looking for more docs along these lines that are well-researched and cover the general history or some specialized aspect of it in some depth. German history is a big interest of mine, having a couple of grandparents who, thankfully, got out of Germany in 1939.

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Hey, when did he mention it? Was it a different episode?

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It was this one but it was very offhandedly at the end. Specially referencing the nyt article that was also insufferable about it.

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Completely missed it. Thanks for clarifying.

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