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We just brought our (surprise) newborn daughter home from the hospital. She’s asleep on the rocker and I just sat down on couch for the first time all day, let out a long sigh thinking about the amazing unpredictability of life, and this episode pops up in my notifications.

Undeniable sign from God that it’s time to start indoctrinating her into the Fifdom, and so I will faithfully abide.

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Congrats! Although I can't help but wondering what part of that statement is a surprise. That it was a girl? The pregnancy? That she came home today? That she was born today?

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We have two teenagers already and just hit 40, so the pregnancy was definitely a surprise. Ironically, when we found out conventional precautions failed us earlier this year, we started talking about a vasectomy. That same week was when Kmele revealed he accidentally had 1.5 testicles removed during the procedure and I have been unwilling to commit to a date since.

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Mazel tov!

🎶Love child!🎶

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founding

Congrats! I had unexpected Irish twins which (among other things) precipitated my snip. Mine wasn't nearly as bad as Kmele makes his sound, but I certainly didn't have my fastball for at least 6 months afterwards

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Wow. This is why I pull out even when I'm wearing a condom. Well, congratulations. Best of health and luck.

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TMI, dude.

(But prudent)

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Thank you. And he was already talking about testicles

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Congratulations!!!

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Congratulations!

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Congrats, Papa!

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founding

Congrats, Chris!

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I will always be utterly fascinated at what a hack Colbert has become. Why aren’t there more YouTube video essays on this? I couldn’t make it through the 30 second homework assignment guys, sorry. Late night shows are almost as insufferable as NPR. Who are the people that watch this garbage? White coastal millennials? Is the demographic that large to justify such a homogeneous and brainless product across the market? It’s been the same regurgitated Orange Man Bad/Conservatives Bad shtick for like 10 years now. Has Colbert always been a shitbag or did Trump break his brain like it did for most of corporate media? Has anyone ever cornered him on this? There has to be some content somewhere of someone asking him about his one dimensional obsession with all things Trump. I mean it’s half a step down from Olbermann level insanity at this point.

And while im at it, I’m equally fascinated at the evolution of former shock jocks and Man Show hosts like Stern and Kimmel who have COMPLETELY sold out to, for lack of a better classification, the DNC Establishment. What a bunch of corporate sellout losers. I can’t bring myself to vote for Trump but I’m also kind of hoping he wins so I can watch all these empty vessel excuses of humans turn into melty face emojis.

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Redsteeze nailed it when he called this version of late night comedy as “late night group therapy for libs.” The only time it’s not boring is when it’s completely unhinged. (Colberts vaccine dance/song but comes to mind).

Conan getting pushed out for this slop is a travesty.

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I don't mind Stern and Kimmel growing up and mellowing. It happens.

The real question is, will they show any grace to younger people who've taken their place and rely on "problematic" humor, or will they pull up the drawbridge and join the cancellation mobs?

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They haven’t just mellowed out though. That would be fine. They’ve become the antithesis of what they were previously, all the while being completely arrogant and self righteous about it. Kimmel leas so than Stern but they’re both now corporate boot licking hacks. Seems to be working out ok though so more power to them.

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The divergence of Kimmel and Carolla is fascinating.

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Yeah exactly I was thinking the same. Now Carella is a good example of a more mellow version of his younger rambunctious persona.

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Oct 18Liked by Matt Welch

Stoked first new episode to listen to in my new ride. Sure it’s 2007 Chevy Malibu, but it’s new to me

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Oct 18Liked by Matt Welch

Very excited for this podcast’s evolution into wine criticism.

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They touched on something that traces back to the core of what I hate about civil discourse in 2024.

When Trump says something like “let’s revoke CNN’s license” and the right cheers as the left panics, I absolutely believe if the script were reversed so would the response.

If tomorrow Biden decided to scuttle Fox News, the left would be high fiving each other for days. The right would call it an act of war against the normal American people.

Yet…where on earth would you hope to hear a loud, practical voice that says “limiting free speech is wrong, and a rights violation, in both cases. You don’t get to pick and choose who has rights based on tribal affiliation”?

And that really bothers me in a way no other specific irksome thing could. The double standard. The tribalism. The refusal to grant the opposition the same rights that all people ought to have, as a starting point, and then trying to make your case from there.

It’s absolutely infuriating.

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Yet…where on earth would you hope to hear a loud, practical voice that says “limiting free speech is wrong, and a rights violation, in both cases. You don’t get to pick and choose who has rights based on tribal affiliation”?

…here, of course!

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I’ve changed my mind about race reparations. I never thought we could effectuate reparations such that we could discern who should pay and by what amount. How could we possibly determine who benefits from past discrimination? Then it came to me. DEI professionals are the ones that have benefited. Let’s take all their anti-racist income and give it to groups they are supposed trying to help. The best experts say this is a beautiful idea.

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I was listening while installing blackout curtains in my infant son’s bedroom and upon hearing the latest about the Rachel Maddow Project, it struck me that I was doing the exact same thing in my daughter’s room when I first heard about the Rachel Maddow Project.

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And how long has it been since your daughter left for college?

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"You went and did this interview because you want to talk to conservatives"

No she didn't. She did this interview to give her base license to say she did that.

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And to claim she was stacking bodies up to the rafters!

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Pre-Sinwar news ??!?

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Goodbye

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Fifth Team because you’re all seemingly on board with this, I really am interested in fleshing this out more.

Hunter Biden laptop thing and private companies editorial decisions not being election interference.

I get that. Also, the solution being shutting them down or revoking licenses is a terrible solution, I also get that.

However, what do you call administrative bodies and governmental bodies throwing their weight fully behind a candidate completely disregarding truth or sanity? Not private companies or individuals but governmental institutions?

Because that is specifically where the argument that Trump absolutely bungles and Vivek bungles holds a lot of weight with me. And, I don’t even know if I call it election interference, but it is certainly horrible and should be called something. I.e. Hunter Biden’s laptop you had 50+ CIA officers lend their name and supported that the laptop was Russian disinformation. Okay, the argument is they’re retired private citizens who can say whatever they like. In my mind absolute dipshits, but can’t stop them in any way; I fully agree with that. But, how about the FBI themselves? They let that story stew for a long long long time, and they concluded IN 2019 without any doubt that the laptop WAS Hunter’s. Where were they? October 14, 2020 New York Post runs the article. October 14th there is already pushback saying it is disinformation. On October 14th where in gods name was the FBI? Again, they knew in 2019 over 10months prior it was Hunter’s laptop without a doubt. Why did they let that sit?

And, 2020 was now too long ago for my dumb ass to remember examples but this form of *manipulation* was absolutely everywhere and still is. For this election (disregarding all state manipulation/attempting to keep off ballot/keep RFK on ballot/keep Cornell west off ballot/bullshit lawsuits/etc), how about FBI crime statistics? They just revised 2022 violent crime 6.6%+ from decline of violent crime ~2% to an INCREASE in violent crime of ~4.5%. The most I have heard of that is it takes time, and there are revisions, no one is perfect, etc. That revision is the largest revision in FBI history by over 660%. (I have the understanding there has never been a revision over 1% before). Those explanations aren’t explanations, they’re obfuscation. Then (I am no expert in this) it is my understanding that all past revisions have been submitted in press releases outlining the revision. Apparently, according to many sober minded individuals (at least people I think are aligned with you all on 95%+ of issues and approaches. Some I know are your friends as you and them both mention each other frequently on your shows) that is incredibly unique approach as well.

What is going on there? That has been a top 3 talking point of the Biden and then Harris campaigns since they started. Basically (me in Chicago included), people say they still feel unsafe but they are wrong. Just look at the statistics!! They don’t know what they’re talking about!

It amounted to national gaslighting by our administrative state. Dont believe your lying eyes, we see the big picture. You are just seeing a negligible slice, trust us. Oh wait (2 years later), you were right we were wrong. It is crazy making.

Then you have Hur being silenced/attacked after his report. Which at least I ultimately read as “you know that thing we are going after Trump for, we aren’t going to go after you because you seem so mentally incompetent that a jury could never convict you for this”, which is exculpatory for Biden. It was good for Biden. They concluded he did do what he was accused of yet wouldn’t have a case be brought against him. That seems like the best possible outcome for him. The entire left somehow has a meltdown calling Hur a biased right wing nut who is trying to bring Biden down, the guy who let him off the hook. And, since we now know unequivocally Hur made an accurate assessment, where the fuck was the rest of the DOJ? Don’t even weigh in individually, where were they supporting Hur, than man Garland assigned to the special counsel. At the very least say he’s a reliable attorney and we trust his judgement and conclusions. Instead they allowed him to be eviscerated in the public eye and allowed the story and the conclusions to be swept under the rug.

Lastly, on all of this, maybe in each case there’s a “you’re not looking at it completely right” or a “they all are under the executive branch and are going to bend in the presidents favor” or a “yes that’s strange but can be understood solely with incompetence and mismanagement, there’s nothing sinister going on here”. Okay, then why has every notable story for the last 8 years from these bodies fallen one way? Why was the Steele Dossier treated as the message sent down from god on tablets for years when internal they knew it was complete and total hogshit? Why was Mueller supported from within and without the DOJ at every step over years when Hur was railroaded in days maybe weeks? Why was every governmental and governmental adjacent (GSE, etc) body coming out with reports on how Trump was insane and or medically compromised for years and the same people/bodies coming out saying Biden is fit as a fiddle? Why did the Trump admin and the Trump DOJ and everyone else leak like an absolute sieve, while under Biden the only leaks occurred once they decided to defenestrate him? Why over and over and over and over and over again have all these situations fallen one direction and not the other? The idea that the Biden administration hasn’t had massive scandals is absolutely laughable. The administration has been a disaster. No major leaks? No anonymous officials saying he’s inept? Etc.

Again, I do not think this is at all “election fraud” that is 100% incorrect. I am even hesitant to call it election interference or manipulation. I am wondering what you call it? It certainly does not feel like it qualifies as completely free and fair democratic elections when the government and the administrative bodies seemingly are entirely behind one party and against the other and throw their weight around to those ends.

As I said I live in Chicago, almost 100% of my friends saw the Baier interview and reacted “of course that’s the result when the interviewer won’t let you talk and is attacking you at every opportunity!”. My take is that is the level of of interview Trump has received for 8 years with interview questions in the vein of “when did you stop beating your wife?”.

The backlash against Trump calling election interference feels as if it is in the same category. Hur had the audacity to accurately conclude one-time that Biden was mentally diminished. The entire structure around Biden snapped into place and Hur was defenestrated and the left still had an absolute meltdown over the treatment. Trump has received that level of treatment for 8 straight years with minimal to nonexistent support. I am under the impression the Democratic Party would completely implode if it lived in the Trump world/treatment for two weeks. Think Biden would have been abandoned back in 2022 at the latest and couldn’t have even launched a campaign if he lived in Trumps world.

I am also not intending this to be a support of Trump. I have said on 300 occasions I wish Trump fell off a cliff and was never seen again. But the “election interference” general claim is the same *interference* as I am quasi-defining it from many institutions public and private that I see across the board in issues I do care about. From the support of socialism and social justice at all our universities while arduously critiquing capitalism and a 60s version of equality, to the entire medical field folding to support the insanity of left wing social agendas from (back in my day ~2014) microaggressions, to harm and violence definitions that never before constituted harm or violence, to redefinitions of medical conditions, to the complete abandonment of sanity when it came to the transgender discussion.

When it comes to institutional bias for left wing causes it is always explained as “well that’s who goes into those fields” and “it’s happened over decades” and “it isn’t a directed malicious effort it is just the capture of one ideology and mindset of the institution”. Okay, I accept all of that. Now, can you find an institution that is more left wing oriented and ideologically driven than what is colloquially known as “the administrative state”? Why am I supposed to see all the bias and bent nature of things in these other institutions and how they concretely manifest in real world outcomes and then just believe that is not occurring in the administration of our government? The left wing created the damn thing almost entirely and its entire existence is founded on deeply held premises of the left (expansion of government, government assistance, an “unconstrained vision” [as Sowell would put it]). Why would I not think it is set up heavily situated against the right just like every other left wing institution?

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Imagine if you will it is summer 2024 and the news discloses that President Trump recently received a briefing from his Attorney General informing him that the FBI has opened an investigation in to the Michelle Obama campaign, alleging collusion with Iran and China, requesting wiretaps on campaign officials, all based off information purloined from a dossier of OPO research from the Ron DeSantis campaign.

I’m sure that the FBI will be touted as heroes across the board. But how will the press respond to the Bill Barr commission that is formed to investigate why Michelle and others are in the pocket of RED China?

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Sorry, 2028 in my hypothetical. I’m having a hard time even remembering that today is Wednesday and I’m commenting on Matt Yglesia’s Substack.

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As always, sorry for the meandering tome. I have zero ability to make my thoughts concise. And I have way too much time on my hands.

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Re: Bill Clinton, lowkey conservative - It seems like every time I lament that we no longer have a pro-market, pro-trade party, someone inevitably pipes up that Bill Clinton signed NAFTA. And setting aside that I think HW did most of the heavy lifting on the agreement, and that it was THIRTY years ago, this was a Bill Clinton artifact, not a Democratic Party artifact. Obama was eh/meh on trade (if only he could have gotten the TPP through before it became an idiot football) and wannabe labor-hero Biden is frankly awful. It is not enough to not want thousand dollar toasters. One must be anti-thousand dollar toasters.

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I have no idea how to work archive.org. I understand there is an archive for all things television- how do I go about finding season 2&3 of Pete & Pete?

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I find their search engine to be a pain. It works better if you drill down to just the TV shows (or books or whatever you're looking for), but honestly, I often just default to "site:archive.org [search term]". Works most of the time.

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15 hr flight tomorrow. I've been stocking up fifth column and barpod episodes. Thanks lads!

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Safe travels.

Take it easy on the soju.

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thanks, i didn’t want to have to watch the interview

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Birtherism wasn't racist?

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I think that Joe Biden being a liar on the debate stage about the Hunter laptop as well as the dozens of Intelligence officials misrepresenting it as Russian disinformation when the FBI knew it was real is one of the biggest politcal scandals of my life.

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